As a Family Lawyer, adoptions are the most consistently rewarding work I do. I love being able to facilitate bringing a family together rather than the disentangling I do more often in divorces.
I have always thought of adoption cases as being universally positive. Straightforward celebrations. An uncomplicated positive aspect of my law practice.
So it was interesting for me to read this Modern Love Column, and to listen to the podcast delving further into the story about the perspective of the birth mother and the challenges associated with an open adoption. I was in tears listening to the emotional impact associated with giving up a child, and the complications that continue years after the fact when the birth mother and the adoptive mother are both committed to loving their son, and honoring the other’s role in his life.
It was also interesting to think about the very human, emotional challenges associated with open adoptions. In an open adoption, there are defined parameters for contact between the parent(s) giving a child and the adoptive family. They may include a certain age when a child will be given information about her birth family, a specific number of letters exchanged per year, copies of school pictures to the birth family, or a defined visitation schedule allowing the child to have some ongoing contact with his birth family, including other siblings. Obviously open adoption adds a layer of complication that is absent in a closed buy proscar 5mg online adoption where once the adoption is final, there is no further contact between the birth family and the adoptive family. With an open adoption, a adopted child doesn’t wonder “where did I come from?” They know, because they have some degree of ongoing contact with their family of origin. This column and podcast also touch on this issue briefly, although the perspective is entirely that of the birth mother rather than the child. It was honestly a perspective I had not considered in depth until I read this story and listened to this podcast.
I was taken aback to realize I had not spent much time thinking about the parents who gave up their child. But for that significant sacrifice, there would be no role for a Family Lawyer in assisting an adoptive family come together for a wonderful celebration, one of the few happy times I assist with in Family Court.
I still relish my role in adoption cases, and continue to believe they are the best and most positive work that I do in my role as a Family Lawyer, but it was very valuable to be able to think about adoption cases in a different context, and to broaden my perspective by taking into account the overwhelming gift birth parents give when they choose to allow other families to raise their child.
Attorney Rayna Brachmann, Esq.
Nevada Certified Family Law Specialist
Open Adoption Not So Simple Math (Podcast)